Antwone Fisher Casebook Postwrite

Writing 100 (Section 203 & 204): Transition to College Writing

Summer Bridge Program 2011

Tues/Thurs 10am-12pm & 1pm-3pm

1245NQ & 2155 NQ

Antwone Fisher Casebook 2nd Draft Postwrite 

Name: Sunasia Echols

Please answer these questions carefully and thoughtfully, providing specific examples (including on what pages in your final draft I can find them) of how these things affected your revision. Upload this completed form to your e-portfolio.

What are the major strengths of this paper?

The major strengths of this paper include the research and the descriptive language that puts reader’s minds in the midst of the text. Because this paper is based on childhood trauma, the amount of evidence and research showed how many people had experiences related to Antwone Fisher. The descriptive text of this paper is strong because it makes the reader feel as if they are watching the movie.

What are the major weaknesses of this paper, and how did you attempt to overcome them in the revision process?

The major weaknesses of this paper is making transitions and voicing my

opinion in the paper. It seemed as if i was jumping for place to place without a clear transition for the reader. To fix the transition problem, I tried to slow pace of the sentences and make them more clear and precise.

What specific (major) revisions have you made, and what would you like your readers to notice about them?

I do not not think I have made a major revision, but the revision I would like the reader to notice is how I voiced my opinion more. I find it hard to explain the quote further because the author has already done that for me but I voiced my opinion a little bit more to make sure the reader really understands.

What specific advice did your peer reviewers or your instructors give you that you took, and how did you incorporate that advice into this revision?

The advice that my peer gave me was to make my argument clear and tell whether or not my argument was effective. Because of this advice I have a paragraph to the end and stated my exact thought of why I think the movie was produced.

Describe one thing that you learned in the process of trial and error on this paper (either in terms of your own writing process, or about researching, or about something technical—whatever you want) that you will take with you as you write your next paper. In other words, how can that one thing make your writing process next time around a little easier?

Since I tend to let my research speak for me, I have learned that it is less likely that I will find a quote that I would not have to interpret and tell how the quote relates to my argument for the reader. This will make my work easier because I will not have to go back and think of how the quote relates to the argument in my revision process.